KM-CG #67 Full Moon Hash

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Details: Written by: Scoop My Buttress; Published: 16 September 2025

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! No running bastards, no wankers. All hashers were crawlers chasing the full moon, the next tap room, and enough liquid courage to stay awake for a 3 AM blood red moon eclipse. All this while howling AWOOOOO instead of the traditional ON ON at every marking, or at least the ones that they could find...
	Tequila Madre couldn’t help himself and led the pack of running bastards back and forth between each taproom. He got briefly challenged in his alpha position by Just Michael, resulting in disastrous turns, slightly racist tendencies, and a circle punishment. After only a kilometre of city trailing, the hashers stumbled upon perhaps the cutest hidden bar in town: Kittens and Uncertain Walls. With the fantastic deal of buy 1 get 1 free of amazing beers, going up to 10 percent alcohol (one of the hares was Belgian after all), the hashers imbibed to their hearts’ content.
The second stretch of the trail amped up the scenic factor even further with several murals, historic gates, and choose-your-own-adventure staircases. Golden hour struck just as the hashers circled Green Lake to find their next stop: pub and diner Painkiller. Hungry like wolves, the hashers devoured burgers, steaks, sausages, the odd vegetable, and of course lots more beer!
As night fell, the hares had a little full moon surprise accessory planned: glow sticks turned into collars, bracelets, and an oddly sexy thigh garter for Assidick PHucker. Sticking it in proved to be extremely challenging for Just Denzel, Scoop My Buttress, and Assidick PHucker, causing Just Brett to exclaim: “No wonder you guys don’t have kids!” Fully adorned in their glowing attire, the hashers embarked on the third and final part of the trail. For this, the hares had another surprise: glow-in-the-dark markings that sadly did not glow at all. While hares Pencil Pusher and Scoop My Buttress deferred the blame to Taobao, the hashers wandered around Green Lake lost as can be. Unplanned Wank described it quite aptly: “When the runners are as slow as the walkers, you know the markings are BAD!” In the end, all did arrive at the final taproom The Cave, neatly positioned across the store La Luna LLena (the full moon).

The circle provided the hashers with a beer buffet and a series of wonderfully unhinged punishments. Racists Unplanned Wank and Just Michael were called out for racing, as well as Fascist Just Eliza for being too fashionably dressed. The hares got punished left, front, and center: useless markings, leading the hashers through the trail, and most absurdly: the eclipse being too late!
	After the circle, the hashers continued their debauchery at the Cave until that moon turned bloody red. Beer towers, mushroom-infused beer, smuggled-in cans, whiskey... whatever fuel available to keep the hashers going on a Sunday night. And finally, that moon did turn red indeed. AWO!